


Possibilities

by Fmnds



Category: Love Actually (2003)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28142550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fmnds/pseuds/Fmnds
Summary: Sarah is finally determined to make a change. Big decisions and a new old friend bring possibilities back into her life.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 27
Collections: Yuletide 2020





	Possibilities

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Northland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Northland/gifts).



> Happy Yule!

What it all boiled down to was boundaries, something that Sarah did not have. At least she had zero when it came to her brother. She knew that her phone calls with him were not going to heal him, but she had this irrational fear that if she did not pick up, that would be it, and he would end his life. She closed her eyes and clutched tightly to the piece of paper she had grabbed in the community center. She honestly did not know if she would actually go. She was not one for support groups or groups, for that matter. Well, that was not completely true; Sarah liked parties and get-togethers, as long as she was not the center of attention. She had a feeling that a support group would require her to share a little more than she would be comfortable with.

As she predicted, Sarah did not go to the meeting that week. She put the little notice up on her fridge with a magnet. The little crumpled paper stared at her every day and every night. As she locked eyes with it over her sad dinner for one, her thoughts drifted to her almost romance with Karl. Surprisingly things were not too awkward between the two of them. She was used to not getting what she wanted, and Karl was no exception. Sarah made sure she shoved those feelings down as far as she could as quickly as she could following that fateful night almost a year ago. It was surprisingly easy to interact with him daily, now that their affair was no longer a 'what-if' scenario. She did not wonder what could possibly happen between the two of them because it already did happen. It was becoming more and more apparent to Sarah that she was not capable of starting a romantic relationship with her current state of family obligations.

Sarah’s phone rang six times that night. She barely slept, and her mind was numbingly fuzzy when she did finally awake. She groaned and buried her face in the pillow letting out a small scream. The frustration with her life situation was building up more rapidly lately. Additionally, she was starting to question the practices of the facility her brother was in. She knew he was an adult, but she did not understand his free use of phone and other media when those things tended to trigger his paranoia. Everything seemed to be getting worse and not better. Sarah managed to drag herself out of bed to get herself ready for what would surely be a struggle of a day at work. After grabbing her much needed coffee and engaging in her daily stare down at the fridge, Sarah grabbed the crinkled flyer from the fridge and shoved it in her pocket. Today was the day she was determined to make a change.

Whatever she had expected, this wasn’t it. About ten people were gathered in a small crowded room in the community center. Steaming cups of coffee and tea were held reverently in several people's hands. Off-brand biscuits sat on a plate, ignored by the group. A low murmur of greetings rose slightly above an obnoxiously loud clock ticking on the wall. The tick-tock of the second hand seemed to magnify the anxiety building inside of her. As Sarah choked down her nerves, she continued to observe her surroundings. The most common characteristic of the group was their frazzled appearances. Well, she certainly would blend in on that front.

As the meeting was called to order, Sarah slipped into an empty chair off to the side of the group. Sitting and being still had an instant calming effect on her. Suddenly she didn’t feel like an outsider. The space felt good, comfortable, and safe. Sarah felt a soft smile fall on her face. She didn’t speak much in that first hour, mostly listened. Sarah was genuinely surprised to hear so many others having similar experiences as her.

Sarah didn’t notice him the first week, to be honest, perhaps he wasn’t even there. That’s the thing about people, take them out of certain contexts and you just don’t recognize them. Mark, the mutual acquaintance, was out of place in his beanie cap and his uncharacteristically unshaven face. He kept his head down and bounced his knee nervously. She was just enough unsure of his identity not to greet him. Each week she continued to glance at him and was beginning to think perhaps this was just some sort of doppelganger. When he shared the fourth week, his voice tipped her off. This certainly was Mark, but she certainly had never been acquainted with this side of him. She was surprised to learn of the declining mental state of his mother. She was only in her 50s and had been slowly losing her memory for ten years. Sarah found herself feeling a comradery with Mark and their mutual struggle. There was much more to him than she had ever suspected. Sarah supposed it was true that you never really know what someone else is going through until you hear their struggle.

She started intentionally sitting next to him after that. Mark never acknowledged that he recognized her but would give her a brief friendly nod at the start of the group. Those nods ignited a soft warmth in her heart she thought she had snuffed out with finality.

It took Sarah nearly two months to talk, but once she opened her mouth the ocean of pain came spilling out. When she got choked up partway through speaking, she felt Mark gently nudge his leg against hers and leave it there. A light blush spread up from her chest to her face at the intimacy of the action and she found the strength to continue speaking.

Afterwards, a heavy weight lifted from her because of merely sharing the experience with others. Mark had given her a brief smile after she shared and Sarah wasn’t expecting anything else. She was surprised when Mark reached out and gently held on to her arm as she moved to leave. Mark nervously shifted his legs and avoided her eyes when he started to speak, “So, you probably think I am completely strange for pretending I don’t know you. I just… no one really knows about my mom in our extended friend group and I just felt weird that someone now knows,” He took a deep breath before continuing his ramble,” Listen I know it’s not my place, but the facility where your brother is at sounds like complete shite. He deserves better, hell you deserve better.” Mark looked up at her then and gave her a sad smile.

Tears pricked the side of Sarah’s eyes, “Thanks, I…”, It took her a moment to collect herself, “I desperately wanted his current treatment to help, but it is obviously not working.”

“I can help you, find somewhere else if you want. It took me forever to find a spot for mom, and I know how hard it can be”, Mark offered.

“I would really like that,” Sarah felt her soul smiling, “I’ll see you next week?”

Mark nodded, “Of course.”

They continued their meetings side by side. Something had changed after their interaction and Sarah felt a closeness to Mark she had never expected. Sarah took Mark’s advice and found a more fitting placement for her brother, one that focused not only on stabilizing his life and mental health but also on helping him find a career and further pursuing his interests.

The difference was almost immediate, her brother no longer could call at all hours and Sarah got the sleep she desperately needed. She found herself worrying, but found herself truly looking forward to when he called at his newly scheduled time on Sunday nights. He still had his usual concerns , but he also shared some of the new activities that he enjoyed. Sarah knew that it would be a process, but this truly was a step in the right direction and Sarah was filled with hope.

The approaching holiday season brought a brief hiatus in the support group, and Sarah felt a small pang of sadness. Those meetings had brought a much-needed breath of fresh air into her life as well as a friend. Her sadness was brief as her mobile phone chirped to alert her of a new text message.

_Can I come over?_

Sarah smiled. Mark and she had grown undeniably close to each other over the past few months, and Sarah had started to feel the small stirrings of feelings growing inside of her. For the first time in over a year, she felt actual excitement at the possibilities that lay before her. Her face lit in a smile as she typed her reply.

_Yes_


End file.
